Culture, Traditions etc.

" I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage" I have said this pledge all my 12 years of school life. I strongly believe in it.

But now I have a strange problem. I have somehow stopped liking all this ostentation in the name of GOD. I have neither the patience nor the inclination to devote long times in all the IDOL worship that happens around me.

I want my child to know and read all the Indian literature and scriptures for the sake of understanding the rich culture that we have. My child should know all the festivals that we celebrate and should take an active part in diwali pooja and Holi color festival.

How do I ensure that I give my child all the necessary INDIAN education without going overboard and getting carried away far far..

Be informed...or else

Last week I had gone to see a dermatologist..off lately I have been experiencing a huge hairfall and was concern. She is an expensive doc so I thought twice before I made my mind to visit. I told her very clearly that I have had a cesarean and my baby is only 5 months old.
"Disinterested" was written all over her face.
She listened to me as she had no other option.
After I had told my story, she simply started writing prescription without asking anything else apart from what I told her.
She took 1.5 minutes to finish this task. This is what she prescribed

1) 1 semi liquid medicine to be applied on scalp.
2) 1 multivitamin for the morning
3) 1 Iron tablet to be had in the evening after meals.

She almost read to me what was written on the sheet and advised me to revisit after a month.

Now when I went to chemist to buy those medicines, I was shocked to find that the first solution would cost me around Rs 1100 and the other two brands medicines will cost me around 500 for a 10 days dose.

Anyway cos I was really worried so I bought those and came home happily though a little sad at the little hole in the pocket.

I have a thing for reading the pamphlets of all the medicines before consuming the. I do this purely for the sake of curiosity and nothing else.

When I read the pamphlet, I was shocked to read the following lines.
" Strictly advised not to be taken during pregnancy and breastfeeding."
" Not to be taken if you do not have a family history of baldness"

I was angry and sad. I have a 5 month old baby, does that not mean I am breastfeeding my child. Should the doctor not have asked me?
Why has she not enquired me about my family history of baldness?

If I had not read the pamphlet, I would have probably fed poison to my baby through my milk. I want to sue that doctor, not sure of the right procedure to do it.

Rajneeti- utter crap...

A good director does not ensures that every movie he makes would be gold. Same is the case with Rajneeti. This may be my lone opinion though. The movie is said to have derives inspiration from Mahabharata and the Hollywood classic Godfather. Now for me Godfather is sacrosanct and if even you hint that movie is similar, you invite trouble. The plot is not at all convincing and most of the characters are not developed fully. For instance
1) The bond between Ajay Devgan and Manoj Vajpayee is not convincing.
2) Ajay Devgan looks like lost interest in the movie.
3) Katrina Kaif can only look pretty and can never act..please spare us.
4) Ranbir Kapoor looks stupid while smoking and dialogue delivering. He misses that intensity required for his role.
5) The important scenes like the scene between Ajay Devgan and his mother is plain stupid. Out of nowhere both of them are talking in hindi that is straight of Mahabharata.
6) The scene where Arjun Rampal and Sarah dies missed that tragic or shocking touch. It just misses the emotion, may be it was the background music or lack of it.

The only good thing about this was Nana Patekar who had a great role and delivered it with full justice. Manoj Vajpayee is also good.

Why is this movie given a 4 star by major dailies, I fail to understand. Prakash Jha is a good director and so are the main leads of this movie but that does not mean that they will take things for granted.

The basic storyline was good, it could have been developed into a better screenplay.
I guess I am the only one who feels this way...but somehow it just does not strike any emotional chord.

Child artists or Child labourers

I feel very strongly on this. I have been on leaves for months now and have to watch so many serials like Utaran, Kashi, Balika Vadhu on colors, Aapki Antara on zeetv, Devi on Imagine. I feel so bad for these girls. Working for a daily soap means you devote most of your time on shootings. Where the hell do you get time for studies and fun with friends. We have labour laws, I wonder what does it protects.

I have noticed that kids today behave like adults. Their clothes, language and attitude is so adult like. I miss the innocence that kids had once upon a time. Working hard for something, making dreams come true is different. Lets not kill the innocence of childhood in this.

As a parent its our responsibility to show the children what is right and what is wrong for them. Its the impressionable age and let it not come under wrong influence.

Mother: A sacrificial lamb....

Since the time I have delivered my baby, I have been constantly reminded of perfect mothers as shown in our stupid movies. I am reminded on how a mother sacrifices all her pleasures for the sake of her child even if her child does not want all those forgone pleasures. Every single time, I talk to someone; I see that they are more happy than me on my delivery. *%^$#@%^&%$

Each one of them expects me to leave everything and be beside my baby as of I have stopped existing. Do I not deserve some time all for myself. Why can I not go for a movie with my friends/husband leaving my child in custody of her granny. At least my child does not seem to mind whether she is sleeping in her granny's lap or mine. As long as she can sleep peacefully, she seems to be cool about it. We are all a bunch of hypocrites. We want women to be all so successful in her professional life but still we dont allow her that space once she is a wife or a mother.
All of us play many roles in our lifetime, let us not confine ourselves to one and kill the other parts...

Love Marriages

This is my fav topic of debate...

I may be totally unromantic or hopeless but there are certain things that I can never understand.

I have a friend S who was officially engaged to some guy. She knew this guy pretty well and kind of liked him as well. But as it happens in the movie, she met another man who was twice as charming and swept her feet off. In a matter of 1-2 months, she called off her engagement and eloped to marry her prince charming against the wish of her family and his family.
This of course created embarrassment for her family and they refused to honor this marriage.
Now what I see after two years is that she has a baby of 1 year and her husband left her while she was pregnant and she was all alone with no job and no where to go.

Cut to present her daughter is 6 years now, filed for divorce but husband unwilling to take any responsibility. Husband staying with another girl who calls and threatens her.

I wonder sometimes why people marry so impulsively. This all looks good in movies where they lived happily ever after... rarely is such success seen in real life.

Also to marry against the wishes of your parents, you must be 10 times sure of the person and the family you would go to. Most important thing, never run from house to get married, you need your family support at the end, so better take them with you. It will help in long run. Marriage is not only about two people, its about two families.

Jhansi ki Rani Laxmibai and tele serial effect

Once I was casually flipping through the channels with nothing interesting to watch, I stopped at zeetv which was telecasting Jhansi ki Rani. I still remember I had this story in my CBSE syllabus in some class and I was totally inspired by her. She was so young and still could do so many things and gave a good fight to the brits. When I watch the serial, it was hell. Why cant we show the things as they are and still not make them look like documentary. This serial was usual Ekta Kapoor stuff with all masala, downright insult to the history characters. I wish we could respect and leave certain things as they are. There was a serial bharat ek khoj, I just loved, it was boring history shown in a very interesting way...why is everything masaledaar these days...

Birth Experience

Now that I feel comparitively better and my daughter is a month old, its time that I recall my experience while giving birth to my daughter. It was last year somtime in July when I was tested positive for pregnancy that my life started changing. From Beer, chicken and late night movies to no smoking/alcohol even in the neighbourhood. It was a major change as I was really used to this schedule every saturday and had become like a ritual. But I guess in a very short time, I overcame the craving. Lots of protien, milk and healthy diet was waiting for me and I did not complain.


First trimester was tough, cos the nausea almost kills. I could not eat anything, felt sleepy and tired throughout the day, could not even bear the smell of my fav food. Each new taste that I tried left me more nauseous. Miraculously the day I completed three months, my life was back to normal. My nausea had gone, and taste buds came back.


Regular gynae visits started, got my first ultrasound done and was kind of excited and happy to see a life inside me. I still marvel at the thought that women are capable of giving a new life. One of my friend told me once " think of yourself as GOD as you are bringing a new life to this world" how true..


Joined yoga classes as I hated to be overweight even during my pregnancy wanted a fit body. Bought lots of books and music cd's to listen. Got movie rental subscription to watch all the classics..life was one party.. I shopped like crazy for clothes and baby items, spend a fortune on maternity clothes knowing fully well that these will not be used again. ..I did all of things that I had always wanted and I could not be happier. 8 months passed flying in all this and I did not even realise.


9th month was a little difficult as the body is really huge by now and legs are swollen. But I could still do a 45 minute morning and evening with little effort. My yoga and other exercises continued. My BP and weight gain were excellent, baby movement perfect, no signs of trouble anywhere and that made me wonder sometimes if I will have equally challenging delivery.

My due date as per the pregnancy calendar and the doctor was 18th March and I was told that if I did not go into labour on my own by then, I would be artificially induced on the day. I will never forget that day in my life. We (Mom, husband and I) got up around 6:00 am had our tea and sandwiches, collected bag and headed for the hospital. It was a mix feeling on the way, excited scared and everything else. Reached hospital 7:00 am and was immediately taken to labour room and was injected some gel. This triggered some mild contractions. I was told to do some walking and relax. I was back in my room so that I could do what I wanted. I did a lot of walking still by the evening, it was still ild contractions and no improvement. I was injected something like a gel again in the evening, was given sedatives so that I could sleep..but who can sleep with that pain. Next morning I was still the same and then doc decided to artifically rupture the water bag..that was cruel...I was all in pain and dying for hours and hours ..while my family was outside sleepless waiting for the khuskhabri ..little did they know whats happening inside. I was asked by my doctor if I wanted epidural and I said yes..anything that gave me relief was welcome. Some other doc came explained the positives and negatives of this and then I was injected in bone for epidural. I hardly knew what doctor said to me ...I was just waiting for the moment to come. After a couple of hours when I was dilated some 7-8 cms, doctors tried to do the delivery ..I was made to push and push when the strong contractions came. This continued for hours with excruciating pain and no results..doc could see the baby hair but it was stuck somewhere..was taken to the labour room for the final trial..where again I was made to push with the help of nurses, suction, forceps ..everything was tried and my baby got injured in the process. After the final push, I fainted and baby was still in there..when the baby's heart beat dropped, I was rushed to the OT for the cesarean. What happened after that, I dnt know..I vaguely remember seeing my husband waiting outside. When I came back to my senses, I was in some chilly room with a staff nurse working on some papers. I was dead thirsty and asked for some water. I was told that I cant be given anything till my doc see me that meant next morning..I touched my stomach and knew that my delivery has happened, was too tired to ask for it. When I again opened my eyes, I was in my room with parents and in laws looking at me with shock and crying. I had no clue, why?

My doc came next morning and told me that I delivered a baby girl and she will be given to me in some time. In the process I have lost lots of blood so I will be injected iron for quick recovery. It was then I saw my hands, legs and face. I was swollen badly with stitches all over. I got my baby who was also red in the scalp and thick needles in her small hand. She still looked so beautiful and I cried bitterly after that.

After two days of supervision, I was discharged. I came back home with serious trouble with my heart palpitation, reeling head, blurred vision, swollen body, achy stomach, episotomy stitches, cesarean stitches and what not.

This makes me wonder if all this pain was inevitable. I understand that giving birth is a new life for a woman but does it need to be this scary, I guess not. Some questions that recur in my mind and haunts..

1) Can we have a system where I am informed in advance things that I am likely to suffer and what all preparation I can take.

2) Were their certain things that I could have done or avoided to go into labour on my own.

3) Why each visit to the gynae was 5 min of BP, weight and some abdominal measurments. Could we talk on things that I am doing, best practices etc.

4) While getting discharged, I had no clue on how to take care of my stiches, what all needs to be done and avoided. Should nt I be given a list of do's and dont's to make the life easier.

5) I spent more than a lac rupee and feel like I have been robbed.

During this whole time, while I breastfed and took care of my baby, I had the strong support of my husband and mother in law. I got panic attacks of anxiety, sleep deprivation..what we techincally call post natal stress. There were times when I thought that my life is finished and I had no desire to live..I have cried for so many days out of sheer depression. Just wish I could chit chat with my doc and she could take me through all this...I thank GOD that I had my family to come out of this trauma. These are the times when you actually test people.

I remember talking to one of my ex boss about all this and she told me " dont worry Divya...it will get better soon..." Thanks Boss...

This is not to blame anyone, but just a suggestion that hospital management can look at.

Emotional chord

I dnt know if this is an old time gridge that I have with Amir Khan or something else....I dnt find his movies very appealing..barring movies like dil chahta hai, RDB or taare zameen par..where the cause of my liking the movie was entirely some one else and not at all Amir Khan...anyway....its not that I dnt like him as a person..I watch his interviews, read him and he sounds really good and intelligent..but then it comes to striking that emotional chord..it just misses completely...he does nt make me cry, laugh or be angry...I can not understand the reason...
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I was passing by a march where I saw some 100 kids probably in 2-3 class with flags of AIDS awareness..first...I wonder of anyone of them knew what they were carrying and on top of it they were shouting AIDS bhagao like some slogans....I felt really bad...we need to address the issue in a more serious way rather than trivialising it....lets react on serious matters the way it will bring some result.

Sajda

Something like this is the song from the new movie of Shahrukh..."My name is Khan" When I saw the promo's I was just moved...SRK somehow has that magic to move the audience...thats what I call a star....he is one of those rare movie star who can make you cry, laugh...just like that..I dnt how he manages to do that....I guess thats what we call the king....I see Amitabh Bachchan, I can instantly connect with him, and then I see SRK ...truly world class..few actors can match it.....

Movies!

I dont even want to name this post as movie review three idiots as there are so many reviews floating around on this on Internet..but I cant even keep all those overwhelming emotions inside so I will atleast take them out albeit a lil secretively...
I had booked a Gold class ticket for me and husband considering that Amir Khan does one movie in a year so this has to be good plus its subject sounds interesting....I had friends around me raving about it " aal iz well " was the only thing that I read for a couple of days so I was all set....with large popcorns and coffee I entered ....40 minutes into the movie and I was wondering "oh shit abhi to interval bhi nahi hua hai ..ismein " I mean I just cud nt take it...Why I was wondering...may be the idea of Amir Khan as a genius collge boy did not convince me...it lacked everything, the emotional connect, the storyline where the hero knows everything, gets everything and he is simply the best...I guess Amir Khan lacks that charisma to portray a rather larger than life kinda role...chatur was the only charcter that I liked somwhat...on top of it "aal iz well" is so so lacking that punch ..it just does nt sounds right.....there was no fun ..all the scenes and dialogues were so cliched....I personally like Amir Khan in his real life, in interviews..he comes across so genuine and intelligent and when it comes to movies he fails miserably barring movies like rang de basanti where I think the director has full control..movies like this where Amir is GOD..fails to strike any chord...

People thats my personal view as when I go to watch a movies, I want to connect with it, I want to laugh, cry or feel something....If not my brain, it shd at least connect to the heart..

A fresh start.....

This is the third time I am making this start....can not even claim that this wud be final...but nonetheless..lets continue till there is light.....Had to forego the previous blogs as this is aimed differently...